It's Just Cancer!

I haven't blogged in 3 years. I used to write up all my funny kid stories here, but when my kids started getting old enough to read, I felt weird sharing their stories. Now I'm going to use this space as a way to keep track of an entirely different adventure. And yes, I'm looking at it as an adventure. Not always pleasant, but certainly still an adventure.

I have Nodular Sclerosing Hodgkin's Lymphoma. What on earth possessed my body to go and get cancer? I have no idea. But here we are. I was diagnosed about 3 weeks ago and life has been a bit of a whirlwind since then. I've had 1 round of chemo, 2 surgeries, 2 chest x-rays, 2 CT scans, a PET scan, an echocardiogram, a pulmonary function test, 2 visits to the ER for breathing issues and countless blood tests since then. I've googled more versions of "symptoms of lymphoma" and "tips to survive chemo" and "recurrence rates of Hodgkin's Lymphoma" than I can count. I've been terrified, numb, angry, sad, hopeful, and happier than I ever thought I could be in a situation like this. I'm a future cancer survivor, a current cancer warrior.

During my second visit to the ER for some difficulty breathing and strange heart rhythms (looking back, I'm almost certain it was a panic attack), the doctor on call had a look at all my tests and came back to the room to tell me, "Good news - It's just cancer!" Betcha don't get to say that often, do ya?! They were concerned about blood clots on my lungs, but, no. It was just that pesky cancer, nothing more serious (!!). But I kind of love that statement. It's just cancer. It's not a death sentence (for me, it's curable, which I am unspeakably grateful for!). It's just a temporary part of life that's going to show me how many amazing people God has surrounding me. Have you ever had hundreds of people praying for you? It's a feeling I can't describe. It would be impossible for me to sink with this many people keeping me afloat.

The kids are doing well with everything. I think they are feeling big things that are coming out in different ways - moodiness, clingy-ness. But it's all understandable. We are being very open with them and making family time a priority now more than ever. I actually feel like things with our family are really, really good right now. (And if you have to endure a crisis, Andy is the man you want by your side, let me tell you!)

I had my first round of chemo a week and a half ago. the actual receiving of the chemo drugs is kind of a relaxing experience. My port is a GODSEND - IVs in my arms make me really woozy. I can't stand to look at them or feel the pulling of the tubing. BLECH! With the port, I get one stick for the whole visit. Then I sit in the recliner for hours with my fluffy socks and fuzzy blanket, sipping ice water and reading whatever my little heart desires. (I am going to blow my reading goal out of the water this year!). Thanks to a regimen of steroids (evil bastards) and anti-nausea meds, I don't feel much of anything for a day or 2 after chemo. Just an icky taste in my mouth and some fatigue. But days 3-5 are rough as I come down off the steroids. Then I get an entire week of feeling pretty close to normal before I do it again.

I'm going to sound ridiculous. But I GET A WHOLE WEEK OF FEELING SEMI-NORMAL!!! I really thought I was going to spend the next 6 months feeling nauseous, huddled on my couch. But I can still have a life in between treatments! I can still be with my kids and play with my dog and cook and go to church and have friends over to visit, and, and, and... The amount of happiness I feel about this is crazy.

I'd like to use this blog to keep everyone updated on how things are going with my treatment. I will have 12 total rounds of chemo (1 down already!), every other Friday. Round 2 is at the end of this week. I love hearing from people, so please don't hesitate to email or text or call! I silence my phone if I'm sleeping, but I'll respond when I can. I'm really excited to kick this in the butt and get back to normal life.

After all, it's just cancer. :)